dude i'm inner monologue high
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I didn't notice because vodka
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
