I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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