why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
