Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
