I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
