my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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