Buhtt sex?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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