Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
