I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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