Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
