Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
