I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this just has baby written all over it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
