I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
