I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
