is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
