on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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