They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
