I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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