Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
