she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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