Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
