I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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