the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
