He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
