I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This is my gift to your gina
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
COCAINE IS GR8
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
