I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
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