i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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