Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
