Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
is it fun? or sober?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
