We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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