hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
