Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
