I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How does one acquire holy water?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
please don't ironically join a cult
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