the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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