If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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