People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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