It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
