Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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