thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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