I just made out with a guy for $7.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
