fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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