I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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