How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My vagina is officially offended.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
