Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
