So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
