We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
