I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
