Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
