it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
this is an emotional support booty call
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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