I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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